MY BLOG

HEY GUYS(:
My blog is now http://cluelessiz.blogspot.com/ if you wanna check it out you can....

Letting Go

There comes a point in everyone person's life when they feel like they just can't stay in the situation there in. So move, try a different job, or go to extremes and commit suicide. Recently I have let go, I have found a way to maybe improve my home situation and to be honest with all you I'm scared out of my mind. I have a hard time excepting that I have no idea what's going to happen next.

Letting go is hard. Some people have to let go of jobs that they have worked so hard to get / create, and some have to let go of other things like loved ones after they pass. For me letting go of something is scary especially if I don't know the outcome, but it may also be exactly what you need.

School is important, but it's a good idea to take a break and re-coop after a long year (hence summer vacation or smaller vacations if your into that stuff.) It's important to know if your burnt out and if you need to let go and take a break or even fully let go if you know deep down inside it's the right thing, but that's no excuse for suicide and there's other options so don't think that I'm saying you should feel like that's a option.

I love you guys & I'm so sorry I have been unable to post due to technical difficulties (my charger for my laptop broke :P ) I will try to post more and keep you guys up to date on all things fallen musician.

Peace,
Fallen Musician

ps. I love you all sooo much!!!

Trust

HEyyy Guys,

     So you know your best friends right!?!? the guy/gal that's always got yo back no matter what(: Well I'm here to tell you that in my life I got that and I feel really bad for people who don't. My friends are my family there is no grey area when it comes to that, but what peeves me off is when all my teachers think I trust all of them the same amount. I hate to break it to all of them but I don't. There are different kinds of friends so there is different levels of trust I have for all of them. You see here, I have this one friend Isabella and she is well…. how do I put this not the most trustworthy person ever so I don't tell her everything. Then there's DogTag which despite our differences (and there is a lot of them) she is there for me and has my back. Now not to sound conceded but I do have quite a few of friends but mainly juss' a few people who I can go to for anything. 

     Now what drives me crazy is when my teachers think I trust them, they think that I will tell them anythings. That is so untrue the fact of the matter is for me to trust you you have to earn it and most teachers don't, or if they do they misuse my trust and everything ends. Trust is a two way street, and if

Love, 

Fallen Musician 

Suicide

Hey Guys,

Things have been rough in my world. A friend of mine is struggling with suicide thoughts and it made me remember what it was like to feel that way. I know you all have heard it but there is no reason ever invented that you should feel like you need to end your life just to get out of the situation you are in. I know your reading this thinking "what do you know, you feel like dying all the time" and yes I know but here's the thing I pull myself together and I know that in my faith I can get through anything. Guess what guys!?!? I love each and everyone of you and I know I tell you this all the time but seriously it's true.

Don't do something that you can't take back please, please get help if you need it and never ever be afraid of what's going to happen. 

Love,

Fallen Musician

Giving Up

Dear God,

I feel like crap…. over and over again I try, over and over again I lie and over and over again I cry. I can't do it anymore I hate this life I hate being here dealing with this crap I can't do it anymore. I have to keep living I have to deal with this and all for what reward no matter what I'm gonna end up in hell even though I love you even though I try my best I hate this I hate this!!!!!!! I got myself into a load of shit that I can't get myself out of I…. I'm sorry

Above is my first suicide note I have ever wrote. Giving up is something that we all will do at one point in our lives and I don't mean just killing yourself is the only thing that could happen I mean it could be anything sports, music, even something as simple and starting up a garden. Sometimes giving up is the right thing to do sometimes it's what you NEED to do, but other times you just can't let go and give up. 

Recently I fell down and I couldn't get back up and I wanted to kill myself I'm not gonna lie it's a rough road but we all go through it. I knew deep down I had to pull myself up and keep going even for just a day. Now I live a day at a time now focussing on the small things that will keep me going and until I can make it through this and look for the positive things going on in my future. 

Like I said sometimes giving up is a good thing. For example if you absolutely hate what your doing on YouTube and your only doing those videos to get a better audience, you should give that up because your not enjoying it and it's not worth it.

I love ya guys! Peace out
-Fallen Musician 

Vocation

The richest place in the world is the graveyard! That’s right, the graveyard. In it lies all the people who had great ideas that would have made them wealthy, but they listened instead to some negative person who used the word ‘‘can’t’’ and they believed them.

-Willie Jolley, excerpt from the book, It Only Takes A Minute To Change Your Life 

     So guess what?!?!? I go to a school that is, a regular amazin' place filled with smart people, but when it comes to getting deep and talkin' about the  hard stuff it's like BAM nobody talks and everyone is uncomfortable. Today we talked about vocation which is a sense of knowing what you wanna do and who we wanna be. Personally I am different then the rest of my family and when I'm older I want to help people and leave a impact on the world around me. Vocation is not something that you are ify on it's 100% I want to do this and nothing is going to stop me. The problem is though is sometimes people ignore their "calling" and don't listen to their heart. Don't get me wrong sometimes it's going to be hard but someday if you truly follow your dreams you'll thank me. No matter what faith you are or if you have none at all listen to your heart and follow yo dreams♫

     If your feelin' amazing and wanna put a smile on my face you can subscribe to my blog and leave a comment below tellin' me what your vocation is.

Lying

Hey Peeps,

     "If you read between the lines you will be able to find the truth, covered in shame, humiliation, and hate. Sometimes I can't believe what is hidden because it seems so extreme so vivid. I can't tell you how many times I threaten to  lie to fill your hunger for the truth with false information I can't tell you how many times I break down and see the real me and scream out of anger and disgust you think I can't lie to you. You think I can't do what I do because I am weak well your wrong in fact your all too wrong."

     Written above is an unsent letter to my family. I have lived with lies for a long time. The only people who understand and know the truth are my friends. I can't tell you how much lying is a danger and can hurt people you love all around you. Many people, including most of my friends, don't taking lying seriously they use it for all the wrong reasons they don't understand how to use the skill correctly. 

     I am a protector. A lot of my friends struggle everyday with keeping themselves safe and out of harm from their abusers, bullies, and even themselves I am often put in the position to lie for them and keep the things that are going on in their lives a secret. I also have to protect myself a lot of people don't know how much I am away from home on the run and away from everything surrounding me and I would love to keep it that way. 

     This blog (if you didn't know already) is anonymous, because of the things said and are revealed throughout it if this were to get out and, people found out who we are we would be screwed. My blog and rant-off are amazing tools used in the correct way, because we are able to get the voice of teens out there I'm sure if your a teen right now you understand how powerful this is and how much of an eye opener this is for adults. That's why we lie about the blog to others and this is our little secret. 

Love Ya,

-Fallen Musician